After another rejection from an agent I was a little more hopeful for – she had been the agent for a writer I had referenced in my pitch letter – I have had to do a little soul searching. All the advice says expect rejection and keep going until someone recognises what you offer and wants to represent you.
However, the reality of rejection is not pleasant. The self-doubt and sense of inadequacy. It’s like one of those childhood moments when some other children you thought might be friends because you are in the same class, turn their back on you. Not fitting in, not being part of the clique, a sense of difference. This is the super strength of every writer for having the gall to actually believe they can write a book and then do so. You ‘put your head above the parapet’ when you submit work and welcome the world’s volley of ‘slingshots and arrows’. The sort of situation that most people spend much of their life avoiding rather than inviting.
I have now submitted to about fifty literary agencies since October and I am still working my way through the lists. I have re-edited the manuscript fully, three times and added a final chapter ending that I realised was missing after using the passage as the opening for the next volume but recognised it belonged to the timeline and story I thought I had completed. I am not in complete despair though. I have a logical genie sitting on my shoulder telling me: ‘This was to be expected and it may well be their loss not yours. If it’s not right for them, it’s not right for you’.
There are many more agents to submit to and I have more story to tell. My focus, and that of the genie, is don’t worry about it and carry on with what you started these are little bumps in the road not terminating disasters. The more you do the more you can do. Carry on carrying on.
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